I was Arrested for Ayahuasca. The Decriminalization Movement is Putting Shamans in Danger.
I’ve been working with Plant Medicines for almost 20 years; traditionally trained with indigenous lineages in both Ayahuasca and Huachuma. The plants have been the center of my world for many years now; they saved my life, and bring me healing and joy each and every day. I’ve been unbelievably blessed to witness thousands of others experience profound healing and awakening in these sacred rituals too, as well as in my integration and shamanic coaching practice. My medicines are my sacraments, shamanism is my religion. I deeply wish that my home in the US, a country founded on the freedom of religion and civil liberties, was actually a safe place for someone to practice whatever it is that connects them to God/source/spirit. As we all know, that just isn’t our reality.
On April 1st 2022, my world went dark. I found out there was a warrant for my arrest because of a single intercepted package in my name that had a small amount of plants the system considers contraband.
This event sent in motion the most intense dark night of the soul I have ever been through. I share this experience as a mode of personal empowerment and healing, and to help educate others so that you may avoid the traps being fortified by a system that still does not honor the birthright of remembering who we are. You don’t have to learn the way I have.
This is my story.
Going to Jail for Ayahuasca
When I learned of the warrant for my arrest, I turned myself in. I was absolutely, utterly terrified. I had feared this reality for 15 years, knowing that it was possible but hiding behind a false sense of security.
I spent almost 3 days in jail. It was supposed to be no more than 12 hours, but because I had no prior criminal record, I got lost in a woefully overtaxed system. During this time, I witnessed the atrocities I knew existed inside those walls, but was never forced to previously face – some of these experiences will haunt me for the rest of my life. The way we treat our fellow humans for things the system perceives as “crimes” – whether or not each person is guilty – is completely horrifying. I will never forget the sounds of my fellow inmates screaming, sobbing, and wailing out of desperation. I will never forget the site of prison guards chastising, belittling, and abusing their power. The toxic “food” served in Styrofoam boxes, the animosity and miserable projections of those with authority, the hopeless souls stuck in a system that serves no one —the entire dynamic broke my heart.
I will also never forget the profound kindness and humanity I witnessed. There was the rare law enforcement employee that showed compassion and grace. The smiles I elicited from fellow inmates through the glass of our confinement lit me up. And the few souls I got to share a cell with are indelible; their stories, their pain, their beautiful humanness. It was a potent experience of humility, contrast, and the truth of how we treat each other. I am so grateful for this rite of passage.
One of the most memorable moments was with a cellmate I’ll call Lila – she came in shortly after I arrived, beat up and miserable, and way too familiar with the ritual of jail. She had missed dinner, and I hadn’t eaten much of mine as it felt more poisonous than nourishing, so I offered her my dinner. She immediately accepted and looked ravenous.
“I’m afraid it’s not very good,” I told her.
She looked up at me with both pity and despair. “Honey, when you’re hungry, it’s all good.”
I smiled and welled up with tears, knowing my privilege was just exposed. I shared half of every meal with Lila for the duration of my stay. She was still there when I left, with no hope of posting bail. I think of her almost every day.
The best part of my jail experience was getting to truly put into practice the profound lessons the plants had been teaching me for many years. I went through countless waves of fear and anger, often staring at the locked cell door in front of me, and witnessing the abuse and horrible desperation.
Every time a wave of darkness hit me, I had the opportunity to identify with that fear, or empower the knowledge in my heart that I was always sovereign, regardless of my circumstances.
I hit a high about 24 hours in where I found that place inside of myself. I chose to be liberated, even though I was held prisoner. I chose to feel free, even though the doors around me were locked. I chose to look through a lens of love and compassion, even though what was reflected to me was abusive and degrading. I wanted to make Ayahuasca and the entire kingdom of Master Plants I have been SO blessed to know proud. And I sure as hell didn’t want to give a system built on hypocrisy and cruelty the benefit of taking me down into a suffering pit of victimhood.
I have never felt more free than those hours I spent sitting on a top bunk in cell block 2B, Denver County Jail.
Our Court Systems Do Not Understand Ayahuasca
Once I was finally released from jail, I went to an almost manic state of gratitude. Coming home to my space of comfort and safety had never felt so welcome, so needed, so absolutely sacred. The simple fact that every door I went to open was unlocked felt incredible. I had never known what it felt like to be elated by such simplicity. What an incredible blessing.
The next four months of my life would be the most stressful I have ever faced. My case was founded on accusations that were complete and total misunderstandings, and outright lies. The State of Colorado threatened me with a maximum of 40 years in prison if I was convicted.
I had spent almost 2 decades of my life in full dedication to the Sacred Plants, and the people that are called to work with them. I have served thousands of people all across the world, holding them in their suffering and trauma releases, and coaching hundreds more through the integrated aftermath. I love humanity. I love nature. I fucking love Ayahuasca. And now I was being painted as dangerous criminal that needed to be punished and controlled.
At the same time, I knew not to let the ignorance of a system so draconian and twisted it regularly punishes and ruins the lives of kind-hearted people like me who just wanted access to their own right to heal get to me. I did my best to take this opportunity as a chance to educate members of the system that Ayahuasca is medicine, not a dangerous party drug. And that what I stood for was healing and love for humanity.
The system is the system, however, so those that were tasked to punish me had to follow the law, and did not have the freedom to view things from a different lens. I was very, very fortunate that the DA and judges I encountered all chose to uphold the law, but in a gentle and compassionate way.
After multiple court dates and much deliberation between my stellar legal team and the fair-minded DA, I agreed to plead guilty to an attempt to possess charge, and received 1 year of probation. I know many others have received far, far worse, and I have no words for how grateful I am that the case was resolved in such a fair and graceful manner. The moment I exited the courtroom with my triumphant ruling, I immediately heard about Brittney Griner’s 9 year sentence in a Russian penal colony for a vape cartridge. Hard to feel celebratory when our brothers and sisters are locked up in prisons around the world and treated like monsters.
We still have so far to go to create the freedom and support for all of us to use any part of nature we are called to for our own healing and awakening. Every day, people go to prison for a plant. Until that changes, we are not free.
Ayahuasca and DMT are Not the Same Thing
The most painful part about my legal journey involves the ignorant and erroneous grouping of DMT and Ayahuasca. Every single court paper that outlined the details of my case accused me of working with DMT; a substance I am very outspoken about regarding the dangers, synthetic manipulation, and lack of organic consciousness. While I’m in no way against this chemical, it’s not the substance I have devoted my life to. Ayahuasca is. She is a conscious, sentient, ancient plant consciousness. And DMT…is not. So for the system to lump them together with zero differentiation is abdominal. Ayahuasca has DMT. It is NOT DMT. Apple seeds release cyanide when consumed. Does that mean we should label the entire fruit as poisonous? This is obvious stuff here, but not to a woefully misguided legal system.
Even trusted members of the psychedelic space erroneously combine Ayahuasca and DMT into the same category. The cover of Rick Strassman’s new book lists Ayahuasca/DMT as if they are the same substance. I really wish the people tasked with being messengers for these beings would at least have the respect to treat them as the separate consciousnesses that they are. If we can’t even do that in our community, how can we expect the law to understand the differences?
More hypocrisy in my case: The package they say was meant for me was weighed – packaging material and all – and the ENTIRE weight (4.4 pounds) was deemed ALL DMT. In actuality, there was likely less than a gram of DMT, yet it’s still completely legal for law enforcement to insist everything can be looked as a scheduled drug. Never mind the bottles, the box and materials, the plants themselves, and the water weight. Not an ounce of this was considered. So an extremely modest amount of Aya was viewed as a massive amount of DMT – this was utterly and completely false, but no one ever budged or agreed to the lack of fairness and integrity. This was precisely why they felt justified in threatening 4 decades of confinement against me; all based on a horrible lack of integrity and understanding.
I could have taken the case to trial, but I risked being criminalized by a system that does not in any way play fair, which could have resulted in prison time up to the 40 years maximum sentence. Furthermore, there was a very real threat that other members of my tribe would be dragged into the drama, and I felt deeply called to protect those I love. So I agreed to a plea based on a fallacy – saying I was guilty of attempting to possess a substance I haven’t touched in almost 20 years. This was entirely worth it to protect my loved ones and my own freedom, and I ultimately was very happy I agreed to this given the final verdict of 1 year probation. So while I had a very amicable and blessed result, the entire process was a nightmare.
And yet what happened to me is minuscule compared to the fate of some many others.
The Decriminalization Movement Creates a False Sense of Security
Let’s talk about the legal landscape for a second. So many people believe that the laws are changing, but I challenge you all to read the fine print and ponder if what we’re experiencing is really progress, or just a shift in control?
Just about every city and state amendment that has passed decriminalizing Plant Medicines is NOT creating safety and legal access across the board. Places like Denver, Chicago, Oakland, and the State of Oregon seem like they’re on the cutting edge of progressive views with psychotropic substances, but this is only true if you play within the system; especially for those who are carriers and facilitators of these medicines. And these laws have actually granted governing bodies the right to regulate amount, frequency, set, setting, and those who can administer the medicines; what’s more, they have the right to change the rules regarding any of the above whenever they choose.
In other words, in order to attain legal protection to serve medicine, one must be given a gold star by the system that used the vilify the very same medicines. Anyone with legitimate shamanic training will not only be denied any semblance of protection, they will be punished even more severely than they were prior to passing these laws.
In the future, when someone not approved by the system gets caught serving medicines - no matter their indigenous training – they could face years and years in prison. Consider what happens to someone who gets caught doing surgery without a medical license. We view those people as dangerous criminals and rule-breakers. The same is likely to occur with well-meaning and highly experienced shamans and medicine men/women. This is not freedom. It’s yet another expression of the control and regulation that is a signature of colonialism.
Why Getting Arrested is One of the Best Things That Has Ever Happened To Me
Now on to the good news….
I am ever so grateful for the wakeup call my arrest illuminated for me; I was operating under a false sense of safety, and all things considered, this was a graceful way to get gob-smacked by reality. It’s also facilitated a massive wave of change in my life; all painful yet deliciously honest. I’m at the stage now where the death is starting to usher in the rebirth; there’s a gaggle of new people, new opportunities, and new awarenesses flooding in, and I’m here for it. I found out who my true friends and tribe members are; lost a couple that positively shredded my heart, but discovered how many miraculous people have my back, and I needed to learn to receive this support more than I could have possibly ever known.
Most poignantly, however, I don’t have words for how honored I am to have represented the sacredness and consciousness of the plants in the fire of the legal system. While I don’t have a case of martyrdom that would trigger a repeat performance, I have zero regrets. Only humble gratitude that I could in some small way give back to the beings that not only saved my life, but make it more magical on the regular. On the whole, it was a small price to pay.
I am now also aware of my past tendencies to bend toward self-sacrifice, and I’m working my tail off to heal that. The plants don’t need partners that are self-abusive; they teach sovereignty and self-love, so this birthed a new level up for me in that department.
I’m grateful to know the truth about the system, and the fake security of the decriminalization movement. Now I know how to fight for true safety and legality for all pure-hearted carriers and plant lovers.
I’m lucky. I was arrested right before things got really dangerous for shamanic facilitators. I’m given the space to heal and enjoy my freedom at home, on probation.
To all those beings out there who either went to prison or are still there for a plant: I bow to your service, your sacrifice, and your courage. Count me among the warriors who will never stop fighting for your release, and humanity’s universal right to work with nature for healing.
Thank you for reading, and for fighting for our right to heal and expand our consciousness in whatever manner we feel called.
It is an honor to walk this path with each of you.
About the Author
Tina “Kat” Courtney is a traditionally trained Ayahuasquera and Huachumera; she apprenticed for over a decade in the Shipibo-Conibo and Quechua-Lamista traditions. She’s the author of Plant Medicine Mystery School Vol 1: The Superhero Healing Powers of Psychotropic Plants. Kat is a pioneer in the Psychedelic Integration space, as well as an expert in cultivating life-changing relationships with plant spirits. She leads Master Plant Diets both in person and remotely, and is available for coaching and consult about this and all shamanic topics. Kat is also a certified Death Doula honored to help people make peace with the inevitable and beautiful transition into the afterlife. She has spent her adult life cultivating a bonded and trusting relationship with the darkness, and she’d love to help you do the same.
