Coming Humble: Revelations on Shame and Reconnection with Pachamama
By Kristin “K” Blinman
Before we begin, let’s take a moment, shall we?
You and I are here together in the words you are reading. As I am writing, I am unfolding my journey, a snapshot of my experience as a human living my life, and as you read you are unfolding a piece of your own journey. A few minutes, maybe, of sacred connection. Of remembering together; we are awake and aware.
Can you find the feeling of this shared experience? The awareness of your breath moving, nerves tingling - your inner aliveness? Can you feel the heart of the earth beating within you and as your own?
Yes? Ok, let’s continue.
Things as They Are
Cómo puede ser que el humano no respeta/La Ley de la vida/lo que nos sostenga
Honra la tierra, reza al cielo/Ama tus hermanos/levanta el peso
Tierra la más bella de todas/quieren vender tu lindo cuerpo/perdónalos porque no saben/que están buscando poder en vez de amor.
‘How can is be that humanity doesn’t respect/The law of life/that which sustains us
Honor the earth, pray to the sky (heavens)/love your siblings/lift the weight
Earth, the most beautiful of all/they want to sell your beautiful body/forgive them because they don’t know/those who are looking for power instead of love.’
I think we can all agree there is a lot going on. And very few, if any, of the billions of human inhabitants of Earth have been exempt from the incredible heartbreak of the contractions we are all experiencing.
These contractions are making it more clear every day that we are inexorably linked in our fate as a species. And we are getting to see in real time that humanities’ way of living has a tremendous impact on the fate of a lot of other beings. Frankly, we could easily focus this whole blog on just this topic alone. Those who have cultivated relationship with the plants, regardless of whether or not you work with our entheogenic plant friends, know they have a lot to say on the matter as well.
But instead of crafting yet another ecological think piece, perhaps I can start with getting really honest about something that I feel like most of us know is true. Namely, that humanities’ current methodology (aka way of living) is unsustainable in relationship with Mother Earth.
Collectively, where we are right now with her reminds me a lot of what it feels like when you’ve gotten in an argument with your partner, and you’re so sure you’re right. And by god you’re gonna be right no matter what. Except it becomes clear, as the aftermath unfolds - and you have time to reflect - that oh man, maybe you were wrong. Yeah, putting it all together, ok, yup definitely wrong. And you realize that the connection now needs some serious tending to, including accountability (especially for the biggest offenses/offenders), humility, listening, love, patience, forgiveness (especially for yourself), and a commitment to doing things differently.
That being said, can we reframe this potent time in history to reconnect, recommit, and recognize our interdependence?
Revelations
I feel it’s good to note, our shared evolution as a part of Pachamama is not some kind of Humanity-versus-Earth domination style throw-down, where she’s just waiting for an opportunity to shake us off into space and we as a species have to fight for our life to stay attached. Rather, I think we need to own that it’s important we’re here. Not any more important than any other species that has had the privilege of being a, let’s say prominent or impactful life form, on this planet. Let’s not forget, Pachamama has already weathered 5 mass extinctions in her 4.5 billion years of existence (at least in planet form). There’s been a lot of prominent species, some of which are still thriving today. And also, we’re not any less important either; we all have our role. A revelation: the magic of interdependence is activated by our remembrance and attending to it, thus we all go and grow together, to mutual benefit.
It is precisely this revelation that brings us back to our mother. Gaia is our common ground, so to speak.
How fitting then that in english we find a common word-root (dating from roughly 4000-2500 BCE) with mother earth in our collective name ‘human.’ Dheghom (at the 2min 48 sec mark) is the Proto Indo European word for earth; Dheghomon - the word for human (meaning literally ‘earthling’ or ‘earthly being’).
As it goes, language, hand-in-hand with civilization, developed, expanded, rose, and fell. This root Dheghom evolved many different directions - relevant to western english speakers by way of Greek and Latin, giving us many words including human, humiliation, humble, exhume, and a fun word autochthon (meaning ‘one sprung from the soil he inhabits’ or rather the indigenous or aboriginal peoples of any given land).
I find the rooted relationship of human and humiliation to be especially profound for those of us who speak any kind of language influenced by Latin. Humiliation in its original meaning was akin to humility or humble, being low or close to the earth. Our current sense of the word arose in the 1700s, during what is called in Western history the Age of Enlightenment (on the heels of and continuing through the roughly 200 years of intensely focused colonization of Africa, India, and the ‘New World’ by Europeans).
I hardly need to define the modern bent on humiliation, we all know this feeling: being ashamed, the loss of respect for yourself, the emotional and physical contraction of being acutely aware of your separateness.
Humiliation
Could any of this mean that this particular time period and all that led up to it (noting the context of events as they impacted the Western world, philosophies, scientific discoveries, cultural shifts, etc.) directly dictated the causation of why a particular word evolved the way it did? No, not necessarily. However, I think that if we examine history and see the similarities in the shift of how we use(d) language versus how we thought (and continue to think) about ourselves in relationship to our world we can extrapolate something valuable.
What I notice: The more the culture of dominion/colonization advanced, the more disparate our relationship with mother earth (not to mention other human beings) became. And we can see it in our language, the slow and almost imperceptible shift where the lowness/connection/closeness with Pachamama splits in our collective psyche to create a word that carries what may be our greatest shame - Humiliation, separateness - our perceived separation from Mother Earth, and ultimately, the perceived separation from and within ourselves.
So the shame in humiliation holds a key to helping us reconnect with ourselves and Mother Earth. If we keep perceiving ourselves as separate and also denying our interconnectedness, then we will continue to avoid feeling the shame in the humiliation of our unique relationship with duality. And thus the more we resist the feeling, the more we resist ourselves, and the earth we are made of. The wedge of separation and denial drives deeper and… well, as we’ve said this is unsustainable.
Further, our current systems of control/power are keeping us in limbo, suspended between avoiding the shame/humiliation being felt and processed fully and the continuous humiliation of being subjected to a system of control that more often than not moves in increasingly constrictive ways, causing us to perhaps feel more powerless, humiliated, apathetic, etc. though providing enough comfort/privileges (or pure survival desperation) where there’s never enough space/time/interest in completely engaging with that humiliation/shame.
Redemption and Reconnection
‘Wherever you are is home/ and the earth is paradise/ Wherever you set your feet is sacred land…/ you don’t live off it like a parsite/ You live in it, and it in you.’ - Wilfred Pelletier (Odawa)
Rewind. Back to Dheghom. Earth. Dheghomon. Earthly being.
What would it mean to be so mutually beloved, so in relationship, that there is really no separation of home and inhabitant, there is only a call to the ‘being’ a part of her? And that the soul of humanity arises from that inextricable relationship?
To me, as I feel into these questions, what arises in me is exactly what humility feels like as a fully embodied expression. I am aware, and able to hold both my perception of separateness as well as the truth of my interconnectedness. I recognize my place amongst creation and on this earth by the very tactile, tangible sense of closeness, like sun warmed soil in my hands. And in holding that soil, I am held, exactly as is.
Ultimately, this journey in reckoning, reconnecting, and redeeming ourselves with our relationship to Mother Earth is going to be individual to each of us. We are called to sit with her, to listen, to honor, to commit, and respond accordingly. And also, whatever shame or humiliation that we’ve carried, learned or otherwise, deserves space to be felt and seen/heard as well (with a safe coach/guide when necessary).
Our Mother is a paradise, our beloved, our home. And because we are part of her, as we carry her in our bodies, wherever we are, we’re home. All the things that she is, so are you. I certainly don’t know all the miraculous things she’s capable of, nor can I imagine all the miraculous things you’re capable of - just imagine what all of us miraculous creations could do together?
About the Author
Kirstin “K” Blinman (they/them) is a certified energy medicine practitioner with a deep understanding of body alchemy, alignment and overall physical, emotional, and spiritual wellbeing.
