The Sacred Shadowlands-A Plant Puzzle
By Kristin Blinman
Traversing the dualistic yet oh-so sacred Shadowlands with the help of some powerful illumination from Grandfather Hapeh and Queen Rose.
Let’s Start with a Story
One evening in fall, a couple of years ago, I carved out some time to sit with Hapeh. I was grappling with some heaviness in my psyche, and felt I needed to really sink into myself to understand what was arising.
I was working with Tobacco/Mapachito at this time in preparation for a Master Plant Dieta, and he was definitely pushing my limits around what I could, or rather would, accept as sacred. Tobacco carries the energy of unconditional sacredness; everything and everyone is welcome under the umbrella of sanctity.
And, as I was learning, ALL is welcome regardless of my human tendency to judge what does or doesn’t belong. Most poignantly, those parts of myself that I was the most harsh with, the parts that live in the Shadowlands.
Was I even capable of accepting that those hidden, supposedly twisted, parts of me were just as sacred as the aspects I revered?
Safe in the grounding hug of Papa Hapecito, I heard the strong voice of Mapacho:
M: ’Look to the candle in the corner of your room.’
I opened my eyes and saw in the dim room the candle I had lit before sitting, burning away.
M: ’Tell me what you see?’
Me: ’I see a light, a candle.’
M: ’What else?’
Me: ’I see a shadow from the candlelight.’
M: ’What if the light was bigger?’
Me: ’I guess it would make a bigger shadow?’
Then Mapacho said, ’So, how big would the light have to be for the shadow not to be cast?’
A Murky Quagmire
At the time, I understood that Mapacho was teaching me something fundamental to the sacredness of existence, that all is welcome and sanctified because the shadow and the light are intimately connected.
And that’s just how it is: The light must cast a shadow, and if both just ARE then what is there to judge? Whether we refer to our literal shadow or our own shadow aspects doesn’t matter, it’s all a part of us.
And every part of ourselves and existence is inherently sacred, simply for being.
Uh-oh. A sticking point.
Let’s pretend. You say:
‘But Kristin, if every part of ourselves and existence is inherently sacred, and in order to accept that truth, I need to accept all the shadowy parts of myself and the world, then aren’t I accepting that all the bad things that happen within myself and in the world are ok? Because if they’re sacred then that must mean they’re ok?’
‘And to accept that means that I’m ok with the fact that bad things happen, and that I’m ok with all the bad things I feel (or worse, don’t even know about myself)?! Let me tell you, I’m not ok with that!’
Is the quagmire feeling murkily goopy yet?
Well, let’s hang out here. Yeah. That all makes sense. From that vantage point (one I’ve gotten to look out from and, frankly, dive over many times) it really doesn’t feel ok. So we tend to avoid the shadow altogether, or at least until life pushes us to play with it. We might do that consciously, but more often than not, we have no idea we’re avoiding it.
‘We know that the wildest and most moving dramas are played not in the theatre but in the hearts of ordinary men and women who pass by without exciting attention, and who betray to the world nothing of the conflicts that rage within them…’ - Carl Jung
Understanding the Shadow
Ah Jung, the grand wizard of the Shadowlands. From him, and ever evolving through successive generations of those who traverse the depths of individual and collective unconsciousness, we have a plethora of strategies, community, and resources to help us navigate our so-called shadows.
What do we mean by shadow? The shadow is an aspect of ourselves that includes all the parts of our personality/being that we reject or repress. Good, bad, and the ugly alike.
Cool! So the shadow isn’t just about bad stuff. The shadow is simply what is rejected and/or repressed, whether within ourselves, or collectively. You might say, the shadow is built from what we judge/have judgement around.
Oh yes, and let’s also define sacred: Entitled to reverence and respect; highly valued and important.
Even cooler! Sacredness isn’t about bad or good either. Consider that it might be important to bring reverence to the the rejected and repressed parts of ourselves and the collective.
The Big Bad Boneyard
Is this why we get to know the shadow? Why do we go traipsing through the big bad boneyard, especially knowing we’re doing it to find ‘ok-ness’ with the very ‘this ain’t ok.’
And for those of us that have rolled around in the boneyard a time or two (or more), do we remember why we hang out here? Do we treat it as this treacherous, spooky place where another bad thing is waiting around every un-prodded corner of the psyche, just waiting to getcha?! How much ‘this ain’t ok-ness’ is fueling the drive to clean out the crypt?
We do the work/play of going into the rejected and repressed places so that we can expand our understanding, acceptance, and appreciation for what is, and in doing so empower ourselves and each other to bring forth something new, beautiful, and unexpected. Something rooted and aligned with our deepest truth; the interconnected, limitless love that we all are and are a part of.
When we’re aligned with that truth, we come up with solutions to the challenges, and perceived ‘not ok-ness,’ of our lives and the world around us from a place of creativity, compassion, and reverence for the process as it unfolds. We find the strength to speak up when our voice needs to be heard. We learn the difference between ‘this ain’t ok’ and our own judgements. And most importantly, we show up fully to life, no matter how it shows up to us.
Rose Completes the Puzzle
Remember Mapacho’s riddle?
One of the reason’s it took me a couple years to tease out a deeper, more embodied understanding of his question is that I, as a human creature, have the bonus quality of ego. I could really only begin to understand the shadow, at first, as something separate from me, separation being the ego’s domain. It was a limited perception of the shadow as something I unconsciously kept separated, compartmentalized, within my own mind. It’s easy to do that with the good, bad, and the ugly. Especially when we don’t know what we don’t know.
The past two months I have been dieting Rose, a true powerhouse of plant wisdom! And she delivered to me the clearest picture of what the shadow is, and how the plants relate to it (oh yes, plants have shadows too) unexpectedly, on my drive to work one morning.
I was admiring the massive, light-dappled pine trees that line the highway, and she struck up a conversation:
R: ‘You know, pine trees have a consciousness.’
I laughed out loud.
Me: ‘Uh, yeah.’
R: ‘And you have a consciousness.’
Me: ‘True.’
R: ‘And pine trees have a form.’
Me: ‘Mhmm, it’s beautiful.’
R: coyly, ‘And since they have a beautiful form, when that big light from the sun hits them, they cast a shadow.’
I paused, she had my attention.
Me: ‘They do …’
R: ‘You know, you have that in common. You and the pine trees, you have consciousness and form, and light, and shadow. And all of those aspects of you exist together, unified - the tree, and you, don’t actually know anything about separateness. There’s nothing to hide, or be hidden, you just are.’
Naturally, I was speechless. It was true.
R: ‘But you have one thing the pine tree, well, really all us plants, don’t. You have an ego. Just one thing that allows you to see consciousness, form, light, and shadow as different, separate things. It colors your point of view to see the shadow as something tucked away, two-dimensional, unwanted. Something you must search for to bring light to. And then you have no choice but to judge it as the cause of the things you’ve determined are bad, or at the very least as something that needs to be integrated/resolved for good things to happen.’
‘And you’re not wrong, that’s part of the journey of duality, and the human experience of remembering your interconnectedness, while also experiencing the spectrum, from pleasure to pain, that comes with separateness.’
‘But, my love, the more you try to pierce the Shadowlands with the ego’s flashlight, the more shadow you’re going to make.’
Me: ‘Then what am I to do? Help me see the shadow as you do so I can accept it.’
R: Softly, ‘Oh look, it’s noon.’
‘When the sun is over your head, there will be no shadow. Similarly, when faith is steady in your head, it will not cast any shadow of doubt.’ -Atharva Veda
Turns out, it’s not about how big the light can be, but the point of view of the source from which it shines. From that view, it’s all one. And, in truth, all….sacred.
Mind. Blown.
About the Author:
Kirstin Blinman is a certified energy medicine practitioner with a deep understanding of body alchemy, alignment and overall physical, emotional, and spiritual wellbeing. She is brilliant musician and a passionate student of consciousness. Oh, and she really, really loves the Shadowlands too.
